I'm going to be revamping almost everything. And switching to Wordpress. If I can code everything correctly that is

So you might notice things changing. And some pages disappearing.

Sometimes you find yourself out of money during a game of Monopoly. And I can tell you with 99.2% certainty, that the dog didn't eat it. I usually lose my money because somebody knocks down my houses with cracker jacks. Like today for an instance.

I just love how colorful monopoly money is. I got to tell you, if monopoly money was real, I would be rich. I could even scan all the 5000 paper dollars with my scanner, and pretend they were real. Because monopoly money doesn't have fancy codes and pictures of dead presidents.

I went over to my cousin's house, for recreational purposes beyond your minimal brain capacity. Did you realize I used a long phrase there? My smartness exceeds my knowledge of how smart I was. I don't know if that even made any sense, but who cares, as long as I sound smart, right?

So me an my cousin were playing monopoly, along with my grandmother. I can tell you with 100% certainty this time that my grandmother is a dirty cheater. It's like all those movies of grannies sitting at the casino, waiting for someone to go away because they're bored, then snatch the gaming system. Winning a lot of big bucks. But this time, my grandmother is not cheating for real big bucks, but the monopoly big bucks.

See, my grandmother likes hiding a lot of those colorful paper money things when we turn around for a second. Although she might be a clever lil' granny, she can't fool us. Because we could notice colorful stuff sticking out of her pants. I wonder what else she puts in there. Watermelons? Mangoes? BANANAS? So we were all "CAUGHT CHA IN THE ACT!" Then she gave us the whole "How can a old woman like me cheat at monopoly?" look. Boy, that ol' granny could win the Oscar. I bet she'd beat that Helen whasistsname who won the Leading Actress award last year.

Then my grandmother gets some cracker jacks then starts eating over the game board. And we're both like, "Excuse meeee. A little consideracy for the board, will you please." So after this little two on one, she knocks out our houses and hotels with her cracker jacks.

Me and my cousin got fed up so we just took all the money and thew it all over the house. Which resulted in getting scolded by my cousin's dad. Oh and I also broke my Aunt's glasses with the skipping rope. I don't think I will be going back to their house anytime sooner.

In other notices, Tina's finger got burnt. Mariana apparantly wants me to stick a orange paperclip to take out my boogers?!? And Bec has serious mentality issues. Which has forced me to write this blog to save their lives.

Quoting Mariana :

Write about how many different ways there are to pick your nose - "... Find the nearest orange paperclip and stick it right up there, guaranteed to get that pesky loogie out...."

My spam box is getting spammed more and more by the minute by people who OBVIOUSLY have mental issues.

So what the heck. I was going to the doctor, and I had to fill in this form. The nurse gave me a Chinese form so I was like, "Hey I need an English one please." Then she said "Oh." Assuming that I was a Chinese noob. WHICH I AM NOT. I just don't know how to...you know, read and write that much.

She handed me the English form and guess what it said?

Job Application Form

I went all sarcastic and started filling it in.
"OH MY GOSH. I'm so getting a job!"

On the form it said some things like : Typing skills, can you drive?, what qualifications do you have, have you had any PHDs?.

Anyway I returned the form to the nurse and she was like trying to speak to me in English, but failed miserably. So I said in Chinese, "I know how to speak Chinese, ok? Don't strain yourself." And then she said, "Oh, why did you apply for a job?"

WELL YOU HANDED ME THE FORM DUH. I thought you were offering me a job

Turns out I'm not getting a job afterall.
I'm just going to be a measly patient who's going to get hypnotized by a doctor who forgot to brush her teeth this morning, and has a breath that smells like fish.

I think I would make a way better nurse than that nurse who obviously got an F in English class.

I went on the taxi coming home. And the taxi driver was weird.
So at first I was listening to my iPod, and then he said something. So I was like "What?"

He said, "Do I need to drive slower? Because you look really weak by the way you speak."

Well. Sure, whatever.
JUDGE ME BY THE WAY I SPEAK.
Rah. It's discrimination I tell you. Discrimination. Discrimination of speech.
If this was America then George Bush would know about it. And be all pissed. Then make a dumb speech about it like :

"Oh, umm. What was I going to say again? OH YEAH! Wait I forgot again."

I don't know who elected him as president.
I've heard the votings were rigged.

I also stubbed my pinky toe on the door just now. Now my pinky toe hurts. MOMMY!

Anna is such a loserface. I woke up this morning expecting to use the bathroom. Doing, you know, bathroom-ly things. You don't really want me to explain it in detail. Unless you're under 1 years old and poop in your diapers. Being the freak that she is, she hogs the bathroom for 30 minutes. Who does number two in the morning?! You just fell asleep and haven't eaten for 9 hours and you wake up expecting something to come out? Sorry if I'm talking about a gross topic but it has to be said.

Then after that I finally get to use the toilet. Which is totally relaxing.
But after a few seconds...
BRSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Turns out there are 'new people' downstairs. And right now there'll drilling like mad. I think I'm going to go nuts. I hate when there are new people moving in. THEY'LL BE SORRY. Because I'M the noise maker in this town. I'm marking my territory. From this day forth, I hereby announce that I will keep bouncing my tennis ball on the ground until they get so pissed that they'll move out. It's such a good plan. I'm a genius I tell you. A genius!

So since they are making a load of noise I can't watch TV. UGH. My TV, I'm sorry I have let you down. But I will revenge you! Or was it avenge you?

I've been shouting like mad at the people downstairs. I've even resorted to going outside and screaming "SHUTTUP YOU FREAKS! GO DRILL SOMEWHERE ELSE. GO HOME!" But that didn't work.

Time for Plan B. I went to my piano and started playing a newb song. Because I suck at piano. Then I sing along the melody. The lyrics go something like this :

"Go away, we don't like you. You suck. Go die. You keep drilling and you'll die of amnesia." That didn't work either so I tried a different tactic.

"Pleeaaaseeee stop drilling, drilling ain't good. It's bad for your health. Like Mcdooonallldssssss."

-silence-
IT WORKED!

Turns out it was just a fluke. After 5 minutes they began drilling again.
I WANNA GO TO AN ASYLUM